


gay bitches assemble

by letslip



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bucky needs a hug, Chatting & Messaging, F/F, M/M, Peter Parker is a Ray of Sunshine, So is Wanda, but there will be a storyline i promise, this is going to be absolute crack, well so does everyone actually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:42:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25241830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letslip/pseuds/letslip
Summary: the gang are gearing up for their first day back at school after summer. chaos is inevitable.(completely out of canon - none of them have superpowers etc - so some of the characters might seem ooc, but this is just my take on them outwith canon!)
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 6
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> usernames:  
> steve: america's ass  
> tony: tony stank  
> rhodey: roadie  
> wanda: witch bitch  
> sam: big bird  
> peter: spiderling  
> clint: arrow but better  
> natasha: roma-no  
> thor: thunderstruck  
> loki: lowkey  
> hela: hell  
> carol: og avenger  
> maria: rambo  
> bruce: s m a s h  
> metallica: bucky  
> harley: harley davidson  
> scott: ant boi  
> stephen: strange man

sunday, 1:07pm

  
_tony stark has added: Steve Rogers, James Rhodes, Wanda Maximoff, sam wilson, peter parker, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanov, Thor Odinson, Loki Laufeyson, hela odinson, carol danvers, Maria Rambeau, Bruce Banner, bucky barnes, harley keener, scott lang and Dr Stephen Strange._

_tony stark has changed their username to tony stank_

_tony stank has changed Dr Stephen Strange's username to strange man_

_tony stank has changed peter parker's username to spiderling_

_tony stank has changed James Rhodes' username to roadie_

Natasha Romanov: tony i beg of u stop changing fucking usernames

tony stank: stfu romanov u love them

_Natasha Romanov has changed their name to roma-no_

tony stank: wow creative

spiderling: Hey guys!!!

roma-no: hey peter

tony stank: underoos!

strange man: Of course Tony has made a new group chat.

tony stank: what does that mean strange

strange man: Whatever you want it to mean, Stark.

spiderling: i-

tony stank: where the fuck is everyone i want attention

Steve Rogers: of course u do

scott lang: no one is shocked

roadie: as tony's bestest friend i can confirm

strange man: What can you confirm, James?

roadie: i- stephen it is A Figure Of Expression

strange man: yes I know

roadie: white men.

roma-no: tell me about it

sam wilson: literally

bucky barnes: oh thank god sam's here i was too scared to talk

bucky barnes: also peter hi peter

spiderling: hey!

strange man: im-

Steve Rogers: you guys hated peter last year @bucky barnes @sam wilson?????

tony stank: yeah literally

spiderling: no they didn't???

spiderling: we were literally friends???

bucky barnes: we just tease him because he's a baby

sam wilson: we literally sat at the same lunch table all of last year before nat invited us to sit with y'all

bucky barnes: ^^

spiderling: wow i can't believe they thought y'all hated me :(

bucky barnes: we could never

sam wilson: harley would kill us

harley keener: i was summoned

sam wilson: we were talking about how everyone thought we hated peter last year and i said you'd kill us if that was the case

_harley keener has changed their username to harley davidson_

harley davidson: ah yes. yes i would

spiderling: no u wouldn't

harley davidson: try me bitch

bucky barnes: he a little confused

sam wilson: but he got the spirit

tony stank: it's so cute that u guys are at that point in ur relationship where u finish each other's sentences

strange man: by cute u mean gross

roma-no: yes

Steve Rogers: yes

roadie: yes

sam wilson: no wtf

_tony stank changed Steve Rogers' username to america's ass_

america's ass: wow. what did i do to deserve this?

tony stank: the sarcasm smh

_Loki Laufeyson has changed their username to lowkey_

_Thor Odinson has changed their username to thunderstruck_

_hela odinson has changed their username to hell_

lowkey: this house is a fucking nightmare

hell: tea

_bucky barnes has changed their username to metallica_

_bucky barnes has changed sam wilson's username to big bird_

spiderling: HAHA BIG BIRD I LOVE IT

big bird: thanks i hate it

metallica: but u love me

big bird: sigh

spiderling: ...

roma-no: .....

tony stank: ........

metallica: what does that mean

big bird: what does that mean

big bird: galaxy brain

america's ass: u guys r gross

tony stank: where the fuck is everyone else srsly i have an announcement

strange man: They probably saw that they had been added to this chat and muted it immediately.

lowkey: don't blame them

hell: I did that too

thunderstruck: so why are u answering thot

hell: sigh

tony stank: @Wanda Maximoff @Clint Barton @carol danvers @Maria Rambeau @Bruce Banner @scott lang where u at

_Wanda Maximoff has changed their username to witch bitch_

_carol danvers has changed their username to og avenger_

_Maria Rambeau has changed their username to rambo_

rambo: y'all talk too much i was bUSY

og avenger: with me ;)

spiderling: NOOOO I AM AN INNOCENT CHILD MY E Y E S

rambo: cAROL

america's ass: wtf is happening

og avenger: am i wrong

rambo: well no-

roma-no: get some queens

og avenger: ;)

_scott lang has changed their username to ant boi_

ant boi: i'm here what do u want

_Bruce Banner has changed their username to s m a s h_

s m a s h: what do u want tony i am this close to coming to your house and throwing a brick in ur face

roma-no: I'll help pls let me help

strange man: Me too.

tony stank: I NEED EVERYONE ELSE HERE FFS

tony stank: why does whatsapp not have the @everyone feature that discord has

tony stank: oh my god why didn't i make this gc on discord

tony stank: maybe i should

ant boi: nO DON'T

og avenger: pls no i cannot take this anymore

hell: tony don't u fucking dare i'll break ur science project again

tony stank: fuck u hela >:(

lowkey: N O

thunderstruck: N O

tony stank: @Wanda Maximoff @Clint Barton get ur ass in here

witch bitch: right fine im here clint answer him so he can make his announcement

_Clint Barton has changed their username to arrow but better_

arrow but better: are y'all kidding me

arrow but better: 80+ missed messages

tony stank: would have been more if you'd fucking answered me when I made the gc smh

tony stank: fake friends

roadie: what am i trash

tony stank: yes dear ;)

roma-no: the audacity of this bitch

metallica: tony what's ur fuckin announcement

big bird: the tension is killing me

_tony stank has changed the group name to gay bitches assemble_

tony stank: there

og avenger: eye-

witch bitch: was that the announcement

spiderling: seriously

metallica: we waited all that time

big bird: ???

metallica: for that?!?!?!!?!!!!

ant boi: so anyways who's ready for school tomorrow???

roma-no: fuck i had reading to do

arrow but better: s h i t me too

spiderling: right i gotta mute this i'm going to work now bye guys!!

roma-no: me too i gotta do that reading f in the chat for me and clint

arrow but better: f

harley davidson: ffffff

harley davidson: bye pete

roma-no: have fun spider boi text me later

big bird: ^^

metallica: ^^^^

metallica: see u spiderling

spiderling: bye buckaroo

spiderling: will do guys byeeee

tony stank: go underoos!

spiderling: !!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the first day of school and the juniors are trying to acquire a table. tony is suffering from sleep-deprivation, and steve is a Good Student so is ignoring the main gc as per usual.

monday, 6:55am  
JUNIORS BABEY

Natasha Romanov has created a new group chat.

  
Natasha Romanov has added harley keener, peter parker, Clint Barton, bucky barnes, sam wilson, Steve Rogers, carol danvers, Maria Rambeau and Wanda Maximoff to the chat.

  
Natasha Romanov has changed the group chat name to JUNIORS BABEY.

Natasha Romanov has changed their username to roma-no.

roma-no has changed harley keener's username to harley davidson.

roma-no has changed peter parker's username to spiderling.

roma-no has changed Clint Barton's username to arrow but better.

roma-no has changed bucky barnes' username to metallica.

roma-no has changed sam wilson's username to big bird.

roma-no has changed Steve Rogers' username to america's ass.

roma-no has changed carol danvers' username to og avenger.

roma-no has changed Maria Rambeau's username to rambo.

roma-no has changed Wanda Maximoff's username to witch bitch.

roma-no: christ on a bicycle there's so many nicknames to remember

roma-no: hey clint when did u finish that reading

arrow but better: 4 fuckin hours ago i want death

spiderling: oh my god clint did u even sleep????

arrow but better: yeah i did don't worry peter :))

spiderling: okay :)

witch bitch: it's so earlyyyy

witch bitch: can i get a ride from someone my brother is taking my car today

harley davidson: how is pietro anyways?

witch bitch: he's really good!! he's moving into uni today :)

harley davidson: that's awesome! i'm so glad for him

metallica: it is the ass crack of morning why are y'all up

america's ass: school starts at 7.45am bucky why else would we be up

metallica: do what sam does and sleep til 7.30?? duh

spiderling: fair enough but he does live a 2 min walk away

spiderling: harley and i are on the bus rn we'll be at the school in about 20 mins

metallica: lmao yikes that's gotta suck

harley davidson: it sUCKS ASS

spiderling: he's literally lying on the chairs at the back with his head on my lap

witch bitch: pics or it didn't happen peter I need to see this

spiderling: harleysasleep.png

witch bitch: my heart grew 10000x bigger

roma-no: aWWW LOOK AT THE LIL BABY SLEEPING HE'S SO PRECIOUS

spiderling: ikr :")

arrow but better: i Did Not tear up u can't prove anything

metallica: I fucking did wtf peter this is the cutest shit I have ever seen

metallica: and sam wilson is my bf

america's ass: i cannot deal with so much gay in the morning

rambo: @og avenger should we gay it up

og avenger: maria light of my life, my sweet honey bunches, i would literally die for u

rambo: cryingcat.png

roma-no: ur just jealous steve

america's ass: yes i am what about it

america's ass: smh this is what i get for falling in love with a straight guy

harley davidson: rip

harley davidson: i am choosing not to comment on the picture peter sent because i am not opening myself up to a world of bullying

metallica: we would never

america's ass: i hate bullies so they'd get drop kicked

big bird: tea

witch bitch: dw harley u and peter are too pure

arrow but better: i second this i would die for u both

metallica: what about the rest of us

arrow but better: smh i guess

metallica: aw he cares

arrow but better: anyways

arrow but better: where tf is sam

metallica: sleeping probably

big bird: im right here smh

big bird: @witch bitch i can come pick u up? gotta take my sister to work and ur on the way

witch bitch: yes pls thank you sam ily

metallica: come get me pls

big bird: ofc ;)

roma-no: sam can u get me pls

big bird: yes but y'all better be paying me

witch bitch: i'll buy u a doughnut at lunch

big bird: DEAL

metallica: i'll pay u back in hugs and kisses

big bird: yes pls

america's ass: gross

roma-no: steve ur green-eyed monster is showing

america's ass: >:(

roma-no: i'll buy coffee for everyone

roma-no: tell me what u want and u can pay me later

roma-no: sam u get urs for free for giving me a ride <3

big bird: u are the only woman i'd go straight for ily

roma-no: ily2

metallica: EXCUSEZ MOI

big bird: i could never tho i love girls but not in that way

rambo: i love girls

witch bitch: rt

og avenger: rt

roma-no: rt

harley davidson: rt

spiderling: rt in spirit (i love girls but i am A Homosexual)

big bird: rt

arrow but better: rt

metallica: rt

roma-no: @arrow but better clint text me ur order pls im at the coffee shop

arrow but better: done

roma-no: thanks bb

arrow but better: u know it b <3

roma-no: ok i've got everyone's coffee orders sam u know where to get me

big brain:u got it, just picking up bucky then going to get wanda and dropping off sarah ill be 5(ish) mins

spiderling: harley and i are at the stairs next to the science block

spiderling: NVM WE SEE A TABLE IN THE JUNIOR AREA WE'RE GONNA TRY GET IT

big bird: GO GO GO GO

metallica: GO PETER SAVE THAT TABLE

arrow but better: PROTECT IT WITH UR LIFE

roma-no: DO NOT MOVE UNLESS SOMEONE IS DYING

spiderling: we have secured the table

harley davidson: peterontopoftable.png

harley davidson: y'all he's sitting cross-legged on top of the table is it obvious enough that this is our table now

rambo: yes

og avenger: obviously thank u petey xoxo

og avenger: maria im on my way for u see u soon

rambo: see u xxx

america's ass: clint are you still walking with me

arrow but better: i am indeed

arrow but better: in fact, i am outside ur door rn come get me

america's ass: omw

big bird: whipped

america's ass: lmao shut up

spiderling: see y'all when u get here!

monday, 08:21 am  
gay bitches assemble

tony stank: i am Not Thriving

strange man: when are u ever

tony stank: omg.... did steven strange forget his grammar???

strange man: y'all are a bad influence

strange man: also *Stephen

tony stank: and he's back

ant boi: what's up tony??

thunderstruck: ^^

tony stank: i only got 2 hrs of sleep last night :(

lowkey: haha sucks to be u

tony stank: loki I will throw u off the balcony don't test me

lowkey: u don't have the strength ur too sleep-deprived

tony stank: i hate when you're right

s m a s h: it's your own fault for watching the entire harry potter series last night instead of sleeping

strange man: yikes tony u brought that on yourself

lowkey: why didn't u invite me stark i'd die for young tom riddle

thunderstruck: smh of course you would

lowkey: im going to ignore that thor

tony stank: i didn't invite you because somehow you have a regular sleep schedule??? idk her. but u would have fallen asleep during the prisoner of azkaban and u know it

lowkey: ... ok fair

metallica: i heard prisoner of azkaban and i have to jump in and say it's the best hp film don't @ me

big bird: YES

spiderling: THANK U BUCKY HARLEY DISAGREES WITH ME

witch bitch: well harley has no taste because u are right

harley davidson: idisagreebecauseurrong.png

harley davidson: the best hp film is obviously order of the phoenix

harley davidson: or philosopher's stone

metallica: NO

metallica: POA IS THE BEST BECAUSE SIRIUS IS HOT OK

spiderling: SHDFJGHJG YES

og avenger: i have no idea what's happening

rambo: me neither and at this point I'm too scared to ask

roma-no: poa is the best hp film and u can fight me

roma-no: well no u can't because a) I'd beat u and b) I'm fucking right

spiderling: Y E S

spiderling: is anyone in physics with fury next period if so pls sit next to me

tony stank: I am, thank god

tony stank: we can suffer together

metallica: me too guys

witch bitch: @tony stank @metallica thank FUCK im in that class too and I am terrible at physics y'all gotta help me

metallica: the only reason I passed physics last year is because of tony so now he's got two children to look after

spiderling: im good at physics but not tony good smh

tony stank: this is too much I'm gonna need some help @thunderstruck tell me ur still good at physics

thunderstruck: it's the only reason my grades were good enough to stay on the football team

tony stank: good u can help me shepherd the children

thunderstruck: smh fine

tony stank: where's steve he'd be offering to help me

roma-no: we're in english with coulson rn he's switched his phone off because he's actually paying attention

metallica: smh what a golden boy

roma-no: he told me to tell you that english is the only subject he cares about and all of y'all can get yeeted

roma-no: except peter

spiderling: awww steve my heart :)))

metallica: hEY

metallica: a whole lifetime of friendship and tHIS IS THE THANKS I GET

america's ass: i switched my phone on just to tell u that ur not that special.

metallica: words hurt :(

monday, 12:41 pm  
private messages between bucky and sam

bucky: yo where are u

sam: im with wanda and nat, nat's buying my doughnut lmao

bucky: u better save some for me or i'll break up with u right here right now

sam: that's the funniest thing i've ever heard

sam: dw got u a doughnut too

sam: don't tell the others but wanda bought a massive box of doughnuts for everyone at our table

sam: she also bought enough for the others because tony has eyes like a hawk and will most likely drag them over

bucky: omg wanda is so precious i love her :")

sam: ikr

bucky: tell her i say thanks

sam: hey buck it's wanda! ily 2 ur the best

bucky: wanda i am gonna cry in the middle of the cafeteria

sam: do it bitch

bucky: and he's back

sam: lmao kidding ily we're just coming back to school now

bucky: ily too see u soon <3

monday, 12:49 pm  
gay bitches assemble

tony stank: @witch bitch @big bird ARE THOSE KRISPY KREME DONUTS

thunderstruck: W H A T

america's ass: yes and y'all suck so u can't have any

metallica: shut up steve sharing is caring

witch bitch: exactly we bought enough for everyone come get y'all juice

hela: ON MY FUCKING WAY BITCHES

s m a s h: do not let tony take the last chocolate doughnut pls

tony stank: gasp how dare-

roadie: he would do it and bruce will kill him

thunderstruck: ^^

big bird: dw we planned ahead for that

s m a s h: thanks sam :)

big bird: no worries man


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky makes a friend!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated! my tumblr is @oats-inthewater and it's pretty multifandom but currently there's a lot of me screaming into the void about marvel so pls come join me!
> 
> the layout for this chapter is going to be a bit different to the previous two chapters - where those were purely text messages, this one will have text messages as well as actual storytelling! watch me forget how to form basic sentences lmao

thursday, 3:51 pm

_private messages between sam and bucky_

bucky: yo can u go on call rn?

sam: yeet not as if i have anything else to do since u left lmao

bucky: lol im still outside so it might be a bit noisy

sam: no worries

bucky: calling u now <3

The FaceTime call comes through a few seconds later, and Sam is greeted by Bucky's phone pointed at the pavement.

"Have you not even left my block yet?" Sam asks. He hears Bucky laugh and watches as the camera flips to reveal his face. There's a bulge in the neck of his black hoodie, and it looks... fluffy? He has this mischievous glint in his eyes, one Sam is all too used to, and he's immediately suspicious. "What have you done, Buck?"

The fluffy thing pokes its head out of its hiding place, and Bucky's smile grows. "Guess what I found?" He asks.

"Is that a cat?"

"Yes! It's a kitten. I found it on the side of the road next to an empty box. I think it was in the box and then knocked it over and got out." The cat paws at Bucky's neck, and his face softens as he scrunches his nose up. It's adorable, and Sam thinks his heart might melt from the sight.

"Dude, where are you?"

"Still on your street," Bucky says, distracted momentarily by the cat. He focuses on the screen again, smiling. "I can come back to yours if you want? I need to decide on a name and you're way better at naming things than me."

"Yeah, go ahead. So you're keeping it?"

Bucky is walking now, securing the kitten with one hand against his chest, and shifting the phone so he can see Sam with his other. "Yeah. The box was all soggy and I think the kitten's mother was dead next to it."

"Did you check?" 

"I tried stroking her but the kitten kept jumping on my hand every time I tried to touch her. It was wailing, almost, like it knew its mom was dead already."

"That's so sad," Sam sighs, and Bucky nods solemnly. A quiet meow can be heard over the tinny speakers of Sam's phone, and they both laugh as the top of the kitten's forehead pushes against the underneath of Bucky's chin, trying to get its head out from underneath the cotton of Bucky's hoodie.

"I'm at your building. Let me in before I break the door down."

"Please don't. My mom would kill me."

"Tell Sandra I would never."

"She knows. I think she loves you more than my sister."

"But not more than you?" Bucky smiles, knowingly. Sam smirks back, smugly, as he buzzes him in. Bucky pushes the door open then stops to steady the kitten, who is currently trying to reach his left arm through his hoodie sleeve.

"Course not. I'm her favourite."

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly at this. "Yeah, sure. I think I've confused it with my prosthetic. It's nibbling at the metal."

"Oh my God," Sam laughs. "I'll get you at the elevator, okay?"

"See you soon."

"See you."

He ends the call and makes his way to the elevator to meet Bucky and the kitten. He's buzzing with excitement; Sam loves cats and will take every opportunity provided to pet one - he's been known to dip out of conversations to kneel down and pet a kitten, and has even run onto the road to stop a cat from being hit by a car. Bucky maintains that the car was far enough away that the cat would have gotten away easily and Sam shouldn't have been so stupid, but secretly they both know Bucky would have done the same, had Sam not.

Bucky steps out of the elevator, but he isn't wearing his hoodie now - he's taken it off and is carrying it in his right arm. His prosthetic is in clear sight because of the t-shirt he's wearing, which he normally would hate, but this is just Sam. Sam's been there through everything. And, of course, his family have seen Bucky's prosthetic before. He's there at least three times a week, if not more. The cat pops its head out from underneath the bundle of black fabric, making Sam smile. Bucky leans in to kiss him chastely and lets Sam pick the cat up. Its white fur makes a stark contrast against the dark colours of their surroundings.

"It's like she's glowing," Sam remarks, softly, as they walk back into his flat. He brushes a thumb over the kitten's cheek, and it nuzzles into the touch. He moves his hand, and she follows it, which makes Bucky laugh again.

"It likes you." Sam sets the cat down on his bed, and it makes its way towards Bucky again, climbing onto his lap and pawing at the prosthetic. 

"Do you have a name yet?" Sam asks.

Bucky shakes his head. "I'm not sure if it's a boy or a girl. Which doesn't matter. I figured I could take it to the vet and they could tell me there."

"Did you forget my sister studies vet medicine?"

"Holy shit, yeah. I forgot." He pets the cat again, then looks at Sam, expectantly. "Well, go get her then!"

Sam shakes his head fondly. "So demanding. You're lucky she's home." He exits the room for a second, leaving Bucky to play with the cat. It nibbles at his fingers again before going back to the prosthetic. Sarah enters, takes one look at the cat and swoops in to steal it. 

"What a cutie! Look at this beautiful little furball. Where did you find her?"

"How do you know it's a girl?" Bucky asks, brow scrunched in confusion. 

"I looked?" Sarah replies, mirroring Bucky's confusion. Sam, who is standing in the doorframe, snorts. 

"You didn't even look?"

"It didn't occur to me!"

"Well, that makes naming her easier," Sarah replies. "So where did you find her?"

"At the end of your street," Bucky starts, before explaining the situation again. 

"What about Alpine?" Sam asks, moving towards where Sarah is standing to tickle the cat under her chin. "You found her on Alpine Street. It's pretty fitting."

"I was thinking Snowball or Snowflake, because of her coat." Sarah contributes. Bucky looks at the cat for a second as she squirms in Sarah's arms, thinking. 

Eventually, he says "I think I like Alpine better." Sarah rolls her eyes but smiles nonetheless. 

"Of course you never listen to the vet."

"I don't think vets hold the official authority of cat naming, Sarah," Sam teases. 

"Haha, you're so funny," Sarah deadpans. "You should probably take her to a walk-in clinic or something if you want to keep her. She'll need to be immunised and they might even neuter her."

"I can't afford that," Bucky says. "Not on my shitty cinema job salary." 

"I volunteer at a walk-in clinic that does those kinds of procedures for free."

"Really?"

"Yeah. All you need is some kind of ID."

"Would a driver's licence work?"

"Should do."

"So long as it's not fake," Sam chimes in, and Bucky throws a pillow at him but misses. Sam picks it up and hurls it back, hitting him square in the chest. They laugh as the kitten - Alpine - launches herself onto the pillow. 

"Is it open right now?"

"Yeah, come on. I'll take you."

thursday, 5:14 pm

_gay bitches assemble_

metallica: gUYS YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

spiderling: WHAT

witch bitch: spill the tea sis

strange man: what have you done now bucky

big bird: no seriously y'all want to hear this

america's ass: lmao of course sam was involved this can't be good

metallica: take that back steve or meet me behind the 7/11 i will throw hands

harley davidson: BUCKY TELL US PETER IS JUMPING AROUND MY BEDROOM HE'S SO NERVOUS

roma-no: aww peter ur so cute

roma-no: but yeah @metallica tell us coward

big bird: buckyandalpine.png

_Sam sends a picture of Bucky holding Alpine above his head, pressing his nose to Alpine's and smiling._

metallica: I FOUND A CAT ON SAM'S STREET AND WE'RE TAKING HER TO THE WALK-IN CLINIC THAT SARAH VOLUNTEERS AT SO THAT SHE CAN GET IMMUNISED AND MAYBE NEUTERED HER NAME IS ALPINE AND SHE IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

spiderling: AHSJDJGGH OH YMGO D

spiderling: BUCKY U BETTER BRING UR KITTEN TO SCHOOL OR IM GONNA FIGHT U SHSJKAFHHGKHG

big bird: @metallica ahem

metallica: sorry sam ur the true love of my life

arrow but better: *gags*

tony stank: *gags*

lowkey: *gags*

hell: *gags*

america's ass: ew

roma-no: awww

big bird: smh y'all are just bitter

big bird: except nat and petey

harley davidson: wow guess ill die

metallica: u too harley ur the biggest sambucky stan xoxo

big bird: ^^

arrow but better: wow y'all have a ship name???

arrow but better: thanks I hate it

big bird: ly2 clint u big baby xxxxx

metallica: anyways we're at the clinic now gtg 

spiderling: bring ur cat to school or there will be trouble barnes

harley davidson: peter u couldn't hurt a fly

spiderling: yes I could >:(((

big bird: uh huh

metallica: dw petey if i don't bring her to school i'll let u come to my house

spiderling: smh fine

spiderling: she's so cute i love her

roma-no: rt

rambo: im late but oH MY GOD THAT PICTURE IS ADORABLE

og avenger: she literally squealed when she saw the picture bucky pls don't steal my woman

metallica: i could never

metallica: but i have a feeling alpine is going to be breaking hearts left right and centre

og avenger: as she should

rambo: omfg yes

witch bitch: yes queen

roma-no: me too alpine


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some of the juniors accidentally expose themselves as trobed stans. also, some more background on bucky, harley and peter! slight spoilers for community but that show has been out for 10+ years so...

tuesday, 4:16pm

JUNIORS BABEY

spiderling: guys i had such a shit day today

harley davidson: wHO DO I HAVE TO FIGHT

arrow but better: i'm loading my quiver with my "i'll fuck u up" arrows rn

roma-no: hi peter ily do you need to talk?

spiderling: ly2 nat <33

big bird: peter that's shit, u wanna share with the class?

spiderling: well it's the anniversary of my uncle ben's death

spiderling: and that's always a hard day

metallica: oh pete :// im so sorry dude ily

witch bitch: im on my way pete i have cookies

harley davidson: im with wanda

spiderling: thanks guys

spiderling: yall are welcome to come btw we're gonna watch ratatouille because it's my comfort movie

big bird: IM IN I HEARD RATATOUILLE

metallica: well im w sam rn so guess im in too

metallica: kidding ratatouille slaps

spiderling: taste

metallica: i always watch ratatouille or up on bad days

metallica: esp when my arm is being a bitch and the phantom pains arrive to fuck up my day

arrow but better: :((

arrow but better: i cant come tonight i gotta work but if ur doing this again on saturday i can join

harley davidson: heck yeah

roma-no: are y'all going to peter's now?

metallica: yeah me and sam are walking now we'll be going by your house in like 10 mins

big bird: i'll text u natty

roma-no: thank you sammy

spiderling: hoW DO U GET TO CALL HIM SAMMY

spiderling: i once called him sammy at lunch and as a thanks he threw a muffin at my head

metallica: HAHAHAHA THAT WAS HILARIOUS

metallica: THE ICING STUCK TO UR HEAD U LOOKED LIKE AN IDIOT

big bird: natty gets to call me sammy because i get to call her natty

roma-no: ur argument is redundant wilson nearly everyone in this gc calls me natty

metallica: tooshay

arrow but better: its touche u moron

wednesday, 8:52pm

gay bitches assemble

harley davidson: have any of y'all ever watched community

tony stank: if anyone says no i'll come for u xoxo

roma-no: no xxx

s m a s h: i think i've watched like compilations of it on youtube i know donald glover is in it

s m a s h: he's so funny i would die for him

spiderling: fellas is it gay to read ur best bro the contents of a chemistry textbook and when he falls asleep cover him with a jacket and then get him a glass of water

spiderling: bonus points if u give your best bro a fond best bros look

harley davidson: they're gay. it's gay. g a y.

metallica: TROBED ARE GAY U CANT CHANGE MY MIND

spiderling: THANK U BUCKY YOU AND HARLEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WITH RIGHTS

harley davidson: y'all when we watched that scene u should have seen what peter did it was so sweet

witch bitch: s p i l l

harley davidson: he was lying on the couch with his head resting on my lap and after that clip ended he turned his face like into my chest and wrapped his arms around my waist and just held on. he's so soft pls i almost cried 

roma-no: i was there i can confirm 

roma-no: he's like a baby koala guys oh my g o d 

roma-no: do u want to see (i have permission dw) 

tony stank: Do U wAnT tO sEe 

tony stank: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT

roma-no: here u go gays

roma-no: petersbeingsoftagain.jpg

big bird: oh my god my heART

metallica: yOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

metallica: nat u r an icon thank u for giving the gays their rights

spiderling: nat threw the first brick at stonewall

roma-no: i can confirm

arrow but better: yall are so cute :')

spiderling: ty clint :))

spiderling: anyways gotta go nat wants to show us her fav ep of community apparently it's peak trobed content (me and harley have never seen it dont attack us)

tony stank: NATASHA ARE YOU SHOWING THEM EPIDEMIOLOGY

roma-no: YOU KNOW IT BABY

tony stank: YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

metallica: THAT EPISODE GAVE ME MY RIGHTS

big bird: you should show them the episode that **** l**ves

big bird: so gay

tony stank: y e s

roma-no: don't u worry i have a wholeass list

harley davidson: if we don't get through them all today nat's making us watch them during our free periods at school

metallica: i mean we all have the same classes,,,,

metallica: do i smell a community rewatch

big bird: if we're doing a community rewatch im bringing the comfort food 

roma-no: yes pls

spiderling: oh god im so ready but im also so not ready

big bird: yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did fully intend on having like a whole plotline for this chapter but then i rewatched community and i forgot about this fic for a month oopsies  
> stan trobed for clear skin xoxo


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> harley is having a bit of a rough time, so peter decides to be there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhh hello there it has been A Hot Minute since I updated this... and by a hot minute I mean So Much has happened  
> I started university, made new friends (they're gay and love marvel so like I have definitely found my people lmao), went into isolation because my flatmates were selfish cunts and most of them got covid (I didn't thank fuck), went into a month-long lockdown because my uni city's covid rates skyrocketed (thanks to my uni lol), went home for Christmas, went into another lockdown that was only meant to last a month but got extended 4 days into the new year, and I am now stuck at home waiting for the lockdown to end (it got extended at the end of last month and is gonna be reviewed in a few days, we're meant to come out of lockdown mid-February but it's not looking likely gals)  
> I've also been hyperfixating on Wandavision and The Falcon and The Winter Soldier which has been real fun (I stg I watch the fatws trailer like once a day)  
> long story short I miss my friends and I'm going through Yet Another depressive episode so here I am, back with another update! this time we're focusing on harley and peter with a lil surprise for the wlw (aka me) at the end <3

Harley walks into Peter's room, hair dishevelled, overnight bag slung over his shoulder, bags under his eyes bigger than usual. "May let me in," he mumbles, flopping onto Peter's bed. Peter is lying on his back with his headphones on, and is jostled when Harley bounces onto the mattress - but he isn't fazed. He simply pushes the headphones around his neck, sits up and opens his arms for Harley, who says nothing as he sheds his jacket and bag, kicks off his shoes and basically falls into Peter's arms, pressing a kiss to his hair as he goes.

"What's up?"

"Just feel like shit."

"Like, depressed? Or..." Harley hums, and it's Peter's turn to press a kiss to Harley's hair. He holds Harley tight, letting him card his fingers through Peter's unruly hair, rocking them ever so slightly. "Do you need anything from me?"

"Just need you here. Need you to hold me."

"Okay." Peter nods. Yeah, he can do that. He pushes Harley up for a second, who goes willingly, as he readjusts their position so he's lying on his back, and lets Harley situate himself. He rests his head on Peter's chest and rests his arm over his stomach.

"You got Disney+?"

"I have your sister's from the last time you logged in."

"Good enough. Can we watch Ratatouille?" Peter smiles lightly.

"Sure."

wednesday, 9:24pm

_private messages between peter and carol_

carol: hey spiderling

carol: harley's sister texted me to ask if he got to yours alright since he never texted her and she doesn't have your number. is he alright?

peter: hey carol

peter: he's okay! little bit depressed rn but we've dealt with this before. tell abby he's okay

peter: oh and can you give her my number please?

carol: yeah ofc :)

carol: i'm glad he's okay. are u alright?

peter: uh yeah i'm okay. it's hard to see him like this but I know if he's with me he's not gonna do anything stupid like suffer in silence

carol: aww cute

carol: but yeah I get what you mean, I always worry about maria when she gets depressed

carol: it's hard to just stand by and let them go through what they need to go through but sometimes that's all they need. just some warmth and reassurance

peter: yeah definitely

peter: he fell asleep like 10 mins after he got here but he asked me to put ratatouille on 

peter: to be fair i'd probably put it on anyways I needed an excuse to rewatch it

carol: lmao what a mood

carol: if he needs anything let me know and I'll go get it

peter: thanks carol ur the best <3

carol: u know it bb

carol: take care <3

peter: u2 xoxo

\------

friday, 10:13pm

gay bitches assemble

harley davidson: hi gang thanks for all the sweet messages and stuff, i'm still w peter and not out of the woods yet but I feel better than I did yesterday

witch bitch: glad to hear harls, ily

harley davidson: ily 2 wands

tony stank: I may or may not have ordered u guys pizza

tony stank: and it may or may not be on the way

tony stank: this is pure speculation and I can confirm nothing

roadie: he sent y'all hawaiian ur welcome

roma-no: I want hawaiian tony

roma-no: send me hawaiian

metallica: rt

big bird: rt

spiderling: thanks tony!! we just got it

roma-no: I'm on my way brb

spiderling: u wont succeed

roma-no: we'll see about that sweetie

harley davidson: tonyspizzabestpizza.png

harley davidson: imma eat then sleep bye ly all

big bird: love youuuuuuu

roma-no: byeee

witch bitch: enjoy ur pizza!!

roadie: <33

\----

friday, 10:40pm

private messages between wanda and natasha

wands: so uh

wands: I may have seen a Very Pretty Girl today

nat: OMG?!?!!?

nat: do tell

wands: uh well

wands: she works at the coffee shop next to the school

nat: wait do I work with her????

wands: um I don't think so

nat: who is it??????????????

wands: ...

wands: hi it's pietro wanda's too much of a pussy to tell u she has a crush on u bye love u nat

nat: wait u do

nat: oh thank fuck

nat: I've been crushing on you for the longest time I was so jealous 

wands: im back wHAT

wands: aNd YoU dIdNt TeLl mE?1?!/1!?

nat: I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT

wands: I THOUGHT YOU WERE STRAIGHT

wands: oh my god we're disasters

nat: u right

nat: I'm lowkey shaking

wands: hi it's pietro again wanda's busy screaming

nat: awwwwwwwww

wands: ok I'm back

wands: so uh

wands: u wanna maybe go on a date some time

nat: are u kidding??? ofc???

nat: what did you have in mind

wands: there's this cool science museum thing I've been wanting to go to for ages...

nat: SAY NO MORE I KNOW EXACTLY WHICH ONE YOU'RE ON ABOUT 

nat: Y E S 

wands: omg okay!! I'll pick you up tomorrow, 3pm? and we can go get ice cream after?

nat: wanda maximoff you sure know how to treat a lady

wands: I aim to please

nat: I bet u do ;)

wands: oh my god

nat: it's a date <3


End file.
